I quit my job to make games. It didn't go as planned.

I left my stable full-time job almost two years ago to make games. I instead learned a lot about myself. Here's my story.

DISCLAIMER

This article explores the risks and realities of leaving a stable job to pursue game development full-time. Use my story as a guide, but remember—quitting without a solid backup plan is a significant risk.

Introduction

I get it, we’re passionate about making games. Ever since middle school, I dreamed of creating a game that would leave a mark, and it’s why I dove into coding in the first place. Your story may be similar, or maybe you just discovered game development as your passion recently. No matter the time we spend in tutorial hell, making assets, or fixing glitches, we’ve enjoyed every step of the way, because we wanted to bring our ideas to life so badly.

However, there’s this pesky thing called life that gets in the way. Maybe you’re toiling away at your job, or maybe you’re cramming for the next exam at school. Not to mention, we need to maintain some semblance of a social life.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have all the time in the world to work on your game, unimpeded by other responsibilities, even in your adult years? I did exactly this - I left my job that I worked at for seven years, leaving job security and a cozy salary behind, just so I could have time back to work on my passion projects.

However, it didn’t go as planned for me.

Despite having all the free time in the world, my productivity plummeted for a variety of reasons. Living in an unfamiliar way brings a bunch of uncertainty and some additional challenges that can sometimes even cost more time than you gained back.

I’d like to share my experience of being out of work for two years while working on my games, and at the end of the video, we will look at the takeaways from my story to decide if leaving your job to work on your game full-time is worth it for you.

Living the Dream

The story starts in December of 2022. I was just one month away from leaving my job to embark on this new adventure. I could feel the excitement becoming insurmountable - the time could not come any quicker. The stress at work was also insurmountable, as I burnt out years ago.

Finally, the day arrives and I am now finally free. Before starting, I indulged in some long-overdue relaxation - fixing a hole in my ceiling and catching up on some JRPGs, my favorite genre of video game.

Once February rolled around, it was time to get to my own work. First order of business - to complete and publish my platformer, Flick. If you’ve been following this channel for a while, you may be familiar with it. I started off by writing down some plans for game mechanics, levels, and a minimum viable product for the game.

I would then discover that a local convention, called TooManyGames, was offering booths to game developers that applied. All I had to do was prepare a trailer, a website and some footage of the game by the end of March, and I could have a chance to get a booth.

I spent a majority of my time cleaning up my prototype, ironing out the kinks to make sure it looked presentable. After that, I whipped up a quick trailer using Blender’s Video Sequence Editor, and I put together a simple website from scratch. I submitted my application in just the nick of time, and for that, I was happy. I never got the booth, but I can’t complain about getting a small boost in productivity.

This seems like a good start, right? Well, there were a lot of issues in between.

Problems Arising

The freedom I initially craved would soon turn into a prison of distractions and doubt. Instead of thriving, I found myself floundering because I could not get myself to focus as well as I’d hoped. I was so excited to work on games full time, yet I couldn’t get a damn thing done. I was constantly distracted by other games to play, or even just napping in throughout the day. I shudder thinking about how much more I could have gotten done if I could have just stayed focused.

What the hell is wrong with me?

That’s when I decided to switch focus (well, what was left of it) to YouTube. One of the biggest motivators for this was that I wanted to have a platform to help promote my games when the time came, but also I remember enjoying making videos back in 2015 when I originally started the channel. Eight years passed since then, and it was time to put the CoderNunk hat back on.

My first video was based on one of the neatest things I learned during my time working on Flick, which was making 2D sprites using 3D models in Blender. Getting the first video done wasn’t too problematic though. I still had my moments of lost focus, but generally speaking, I was able to persevere through it. I believe a good reason for that was because I was learning how to edit videos properly, which I did not do in my previous stint as a YouTuber. I still kept it simple by using Blender’s VSE, but there was plenty to learn. And after a week or so, I managed to upload my first video.

The next three months or so were slow and arduous, despite having some clear goals. Even though I pushed through in the beginning, my fatigue continued to be a nuisance. I’ve had days, no weeks completely lost because I would lose focus, lose sleep or just have too much anxiety to get anywhere. While I got some videos out during this time, there was so much more I wanted to accomplish.

I thought maybe the problem was Flick - while it’s a game idea I liked, it wasn’t really the game I was passionate about. I wanted to work on Arra World - my RPG instead. Maybe I wasn’t motivated enough to work on Flick?

So I spent some time working on Arra instead (what I call my game for short), and even on my passion project, I found progress to be slow. There was just so much that I wanted to do - finish the story, prototype the battle system, make character concepts, that I couldn’t focus on a single one, let alone all the aforementioned issues building up.

But it only goes downhill from here.

The Initial Realization

Now entering September of 2023, my anxiety continued to get worse and I was starting to get truly stuck. Before, I still had plenty of time, so wasting some wasn’t as impactful. But now, almost a whole year has gone by, and I had nothing to show for it. I needed to bounce back, and fast.

Thankfully, I was about to get some insights into my problems so I could return to my original self, someone who was a boss at getting stuff done. Talking with friends and family led me to suspect I might have ADHD, so I pursued a diagnosis.

In a nutshell, the psychiatry office had me take what’s called a TOVA test, which turns out to just be a test where you click a buzzer when a square flashes on the screen. It felt like a twisted joke. Not only was the test ineffective in my diagnosis, the initial therapy and medication changes for my anxiety did more harm than good.

While all this was happening, I was able to release a few more YouTube videos and not much else. This was also the time Unity flexed its greedy capitalist muscles, so I would capitalize on this opportunity with my “Why I Believe in Godot” video. Despite all the nonsense in my life up to this point, it was a pleasant surprise to get my first video that would gain significant traction. You know, it was nice to return to YouTube, and it was something that made me feel somewhat better, despite it all.

The Second Realization

As 2024 was approaching, it was still a lot more of the same. Now having failed to get treatment for potential ADHD and switching games not really getting me anywhere, there was something that was on the back of my mind that always caused me a lot of trouble - my relationship with my parents. I realized that my struggles with focus and motivation weren’t just about game dev - they were deeply rooted in my upbringing.

I have the kind of parents that while they tried their best, they would always seem to find a way to put me down in the process. However, now that I’m trying to make a big change in my life, and that they’ve shown such little support for me in this change, I started to think about just how much damage they have caused in all this. I knew I needed to do something about this. I chose to take a path of optimism though - so I wrote a letter to them, hoping that we could talk through our issues and work on building a better relationship. The opposite would be true instead, I found that they had no interest in making things better, and instead blamed me for all their issues. I felt betrayed, by the ones that should have been there for me the most.

There was a silver lining in all this, though. Despite my parents now living a thousand miles away in a different state, they were living rent-free in my head for a long time. Now, I could finally start becoming my own person without the need to appease them, and working on the things I wanted to slowly became easier over time.

Back in the world of personal projects, I managed to slowly put together my complete 3D character guide. On top of this, I was making plans as to how I would go back to work, whether I’d start a business or just go back to a normal job. It may sound counter-intuitive at first, but starting my own business would eventually give me the flexibility I desire in my life, so I can work at any hours of the day, rather than a rigid 9 to 5. Plus, I had full control over the type of work I could do, and I could even structure it in a way that was for a cause I could get behind (rather than to work for a financial company that just makes the rich richer).

While I wasn’t ready to network for my business quite yet in March of 2024, I knew that traveling and going to conventions was something I wanted to get back into. That’s when I decided to go to PAX East in Boston. It was also during this trip that my T-Pose versus A-Pose Short went viral, so it was also fun reading all the comments on that. At the end of the journey, I also put together a 20 minute video on this channel about it. It was a fun time. It made me feel alive again, for a short moment.

I’m No Longer the Person I Used to Be

July 2024 rolled around, and I still had no semblance of an income plan. YouTube was fun and I want to keep going with it, but I just got fully monetized by the fourth of July, so I was clearly not going to be making enough money through it. I had done some planning and some outreach for my business, but I just did not have enough direction to know if it was even going to work at all. I am still a complete mess, and it’s been a year and a half already.

That is when I’d have a conversation with my best friend while down at the beach. He had made peace with not chasing the same dreams anymore, but I was still clinging to my old self. I was desperate to ‘fix’ myself and get back to the person I once was, but I’ve been going about it all wrong.

I’m no longer the person I used to be. And that’s a good thing.

I had this grand vision of making an amazing game and impacting the game industry in a positive way. However, my experiences in life, for better, or for worse, have changed who I am. I’m a different person now, and even with all the challenges it brings, I feel I’ve become all the wiser and don’t have to rely on false pride to get through. Embracing the changes in myself was tough, but it was oh, so liberating.

No Regrets

Now that I am nearing the end of my two year break, I am going into the next chapter of my life with my head held high, knowing I don’t need to push myself in the same way anymore. I can find a new life that synergizes with my new way of being, and now I can finally come to peace with myself.

It wasn’t the game that I lost passion for, but just the constant grind and constant war inside my head. I’ve tried so hard to be this person I’m not, and now I can work on letting go. I learned that I enjoy gamedev the best when it’s just a hobby, and I can work on it freely in my spare time. Knowing this, I’ll be able to rekindle my lost passion for gamedev, but in a much healthier way.

These realizations also helped me find direction with my business too, and I’m happy to say that I found a great business coach and I’m on my way to finding a stable income again. This will all take time, but I’m in a much better position now than I was at the start of the journey.

Despite all the shortcomings on my journey, I don’t regret my decision one bit. It taught me valuable lessons, even if I didn’t achieve my initial goals. My dreams have changed, and that’s okay. I still love games, game development, programming, and YouTube. I will seek to enjoy them at my own pace, going forward. And I don’t think I’d learn all this if it weren’t for taking the plunge back in 2023 to quit my job.

Should YOU Quit Your Job?

Now, let’s turn the focus to you. Is quitting your job to work on your game really what you need?

The first thing I’d evaluate is understanding just how important making your game is to you. If it’s life or death, then that’s a good reason to free up time to work on it. However, if you feel like you would be content working on it in your spare time, but just want more spare time, there’s other options too. Saving up some money so you can quit your current job to find a part time one could be an option, for example. This is a question only you can answer, and it’s important to stay true to yourself and not feel pressure from other sources on how badly you need to live the gamedev dream. That being said, if you’re burnt out from your job and need a break, that’s also a valid reason to leave.

I also recommend having at least an initial plan. Know how comfortable you are with varying degrees of success with your game. If you want to just release a game regardless of reception, that’s great to know ahead of time, and maybe all you need is a couple of months off. However, if you’re dead set on making a masterpiece, understand your comfort level with publishers, crowdfunding and building a media presence, because you’ll need some of those things to achieve that kind of success. I for one hate the idea of publishers because I want full creative control, but maybe it’s not an issue for you. Publishers can be a great source of income and support. Building a media presence takes a long time, and it’s not a bad idea to start the process while you’re still working, but giving yourself some full time to do it can also give you breathing room to learn the nuances, sort of like I ended up doing. This way, you can build a roadmap of what you want to have achieved by certain times in your break, so you can reevaluate your progress.

Most importantly though, if there’s one thing you can learn from my dumpster file of a journey, is that mental health is important - REALLY important. If you are going to take the plunge to work on games full-time, I recommend doing so when you feel you are at peace with yourself. Trying to make games while working on your mental health is just a bit too much to take on.

Just whatever you do, please, please, please, have a backup plan. I had backup plans, like maintaining good relations with my former employer and having equity in my house if things went very south. For you, it may look like having financial support from actually good parents, or friends, or even investments. Make sure that regardless of how much you actually get done on your game, you have a way out.

Closing Thoughts

No matter your goals, taking a full-time break to pursue your passion can have a profound impact on your life. While I initially left to work on games full time, I found that I learned so much more about myself, and it gave me time to address glaring issues. Now I can move forward, being more at peace with myself, and I can feel good that I have accomplished something very important, even if it wasn’t making a game.

I’m not going to tell you that quitting is good or bad, because I know the reality is that it’s much more nuanced than that. Only you know how much your job sucks to leave it completely, and only you know how much games truly matter to you. No matter what, stay true to yourself and don’t let others pressure you one way or another, but remember to evaluate the decision carefully. Follow your heart, but also prepare for the unexpected—sometimes, the journey itself offers the most profound lessons! Thank you for watching, and I hope you have continued success on your gamedev journey!